I was called to the scene of a minor traffic accident involving a relative a few years ago on a hot summer day.
The sweat was dripping off me as I waited for police to gather information and write a report, so I asked an officer if I could cool my heels in the back seat of his air-conditioned squad car for a few minutes.
“You don’t want to sit back there,” he told me.
I took that to mean the back seat was in need of a thorough cleaning to remove the vomit, urine and other bodily substances left behind by the unfortunate souls who had the dubious honor of riding in the rear.
Under a shady tree
I thanked him and decided instead to look for a shady spot under a tree.
Since that steamy day I have come across several accounts of people hiding contraband in police cars. In one recent case, a young Detroit man was detained by cops after a traffic stop. While in the back seat of the police car, he tried to hide a little less than 100 grams of heroin by stuffing it under the seat.
Not the best hiding place in the world. Maybe he was operating under the theory that hiding something in plain sight, or in an obvious location, is a good option. It didn’t work well for him. He got caught and is in serious trouble.
While in jail on the drug charge and with ample free time for contemplation, he may want to give some thought to best and worst places to hide something you want to stay hidden.
Walking with a limp
Another bad place to hide stuff is in your shoes. Walking with a limp tends to draw unwanted attention and almost always gives you away, especially when you are known to be fleet afoot when you are being pursued.
One more hiding place to avoid: The mouth. Mumbling incoherently and slurring your words raises all sorts of questions in the minds of observers, some of them involving the possibility of substance abuse or serious dental problems.
A good place to stash something: In your underwear. Unless you are a woman, no one wants to go there. Besides, looking for a pair of sturdy rubber gloves during an investigation wastes precious time.
Finally, when all else fails and you are down to your last option throw whatever you are trying to get rid of into the bushes and hope there are plenty of sharp thorns on them to discourage searchers.